Lately, I've been making an effort not to blog about every sad moment I have. When I realized it'd been another seven weeks since he and I last "spoke," I fought the temptation to post a song that had been on my mind for days. When I wondered over the unfairness of my cousin losing her vision because of her diabetes, I didn't pour it out here. And I didn't run to you when I realized, yet again, that motherly love isn't exactly my mom's strong suit.Instead, I wrote about colored pencils and posted flowers in the wind. Things that would make me smile when I visited my page. I usually find it hard to read the sad posts I've written and once I've written one will want to desperately cover it up with happy ones. To patch up the ugly wound and make it all better - to make myself feel better. As if to say, "See? I'm ok!" [insert smiley face]
Dry As Toast has been my catch-all for practically every emotion I've felt in the past year and somehow over the course of that time, I've grown comfortable sharing every facet of myself with people I'll never get to meet. But maybe I share too much?
So I've returned to my forgotten journal, dusted it off and begun filling its pages again. Writing is my salvation and sometimes there are things I feel need not be written here. And yet at other times, I'm convinced that baring all will help someone somewhere feel a little less lost.
Where do you draw the line?
P.S. Though I must say, the decrease in sad posts on this blog also signifies a decrease in sadness in my life. Progress I suppose...
Hmmm. I see what you're saying about not wanting to write sad posts, but your blog is your outlet. For me, I view my blog literally as my diary, and I put everything on the pages. Then again, I have the anonymity thing going for me, so that helps a lot. But don't be afraid to let it all out, your readers won't judge you. And then when you do have a genuinely happy post, we'll celebrate with you!
ReplyDeleteThere have been several times I've started to post something about my ex when I've been missing him (which has been a LOT lately), but I've refrained. I don't know why, exactly. I guess when it comes down to it, I just don't want to give him the satisfaction in case he winds up back on my blog. I'd rather him think I'm just happy and living my life just like I did before him.
ReplyDeleteI think you're handling things right. It's good to get the sad stuff out there in any form that you feel comfortable. And I know that reading some of your posts has helped me feel not so alone.
I don't know if any of this makes any sense.
The age old conumdrum "Misery loves company" versus "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry, and you cry alone".
ReplyDeleteI am really glad the sad moments seem to be at less frequent intervals. I too, tend to shy away from writing entries about "I'm depressed" because I kind of feel as if everyone likes/prefers to see someone with a happy face - and I really don't like being a "downer" sort anyway. You probably write the sad stuff because it really does has a catharthis value. If nothing else, its helps get the jumbled thoughts (and emotions) sorted out.
Write it here - write it in the journal - write it in an e-mail to just one person - just write it.
There is one positive benefit to writing it here though... you have a lot of followers (presumably readers) that might accidently or by seprendipity offer the exactly needed words of wisdom that elude you.
I struggle with that same question. Am I putting myself out there too much? Sharing too much?
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I think it's encouraging to read others struggles, saddness, happiness... all of it. Because if they can go through it and live through it, so can anyone else. Your words may be what help someone else.
I do the same thing... thoughts for everyone go online, feelings for me go in my journal. But it's hard sometimes to keep the emotions off the blog.
ReplyDeleteHighs and lows are real life. Happy or sad, friends should feel invested to be there for all moments. Just in case, you know. :) Share with the diary, or share here when you want feedback. You'll find a good way to balance your feelings in the way that's right for YOU.
ReplyDeleteI'm veryy happy my friend that you are feeling and doing so much better!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work : )
I enjoy your posts - sad or otherwise. There's nothing wrong with sad. It's honest and I choose honesty over forced cheerfulness any day. I'm not saying you're forcing cheerfulness by the way. I'm just saying I appreciate your honesty.
ReplyDeleteI get what you're saying though. I feel that way sometimes about my blog.
You have a good space here. Don't pretend to be anything you're not. We like you just the way you are. :)
Your friends are here for you in the good times and the bad. The happy times, and the sad. And if you feel that today is a day for a sad post, then post one. Sometimes talking or writing about something helps, and to write it where your friends can offer words of advice, encouragement, comfort, or whatever... Well, surely that would help more than just keeping it all to yourself. I do see what you mean though. Many a time I've gone and done a quiz or found some sort of article and posted those rather than post what I really feel. Everyone prefers their friends to be happy and smiling, after all. But venting really does help.
ReplyDeleteI feel for your cousin. Loosing eyesight is hard... Even when you know it will happen one day. I've known all my life that mine would go, but it still didn't prepare me for the reality of it. Nothing ever does.
Anyway, this is your blog, so if you have something on your mind that you want to blog about, go ahead and blog about it! Anyone who is only willing to be there for you through the happy parts of your life - or, the cheerful posts, if you will - isn't worth having as a friend or follower anyway. Real friends want to hear about your troubles, and try to help and/or comfort you. Friends who are worth the title are there for the good days and the bad. They're ready to smile with you when things are going well, and cry with you when they aren't.
Hmm... I wonder why it's so much easier to give advice than it is to take it?
For me, I started my blog after the unexpected and bitter end of a 3.5 year relationship. I was devastated, did not know what to do, and didn't know who I was anymore without him. My blog was a way for me to reach out to other people and not feel so alone anymore. So I totally understand what you mean when your blog has been your "go-to" person because it has been for me too.
ReplyDeleteFor my most intense moments, I write in my private journal. The things I write about in my blog are meant to be funny and make people laugh, because I love doing it and it makes me happy to know that I've made other people giggle. In a way, I am healing myself.
I hear ya. When I get big huge lags in my blog, it's because I'm fighting something that I really am not sure if I want to put in my blog. I really need to start keeping a private diary and just get the toxins out of my system so I can get back to my happy spots again.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that is a question only you can answer. But I can say with all honesty that I have always enjoyed my visits to your blog. :-)
ReplyDelete