That is beautifully written, Dorkys. I wish you didn't have to suffer this ordeal.
Its kind of odd that your quote of the day says "We must make the best of those ills which cannot be avoided." - Clarence Day
You've been trying to avoid what cannot be avoided - I don't mean the possible hurt and grief of a marriage - I mean the need to vulnerable in order to share at the soul level with someone.
I read it at the hair salon like 2 weeks ago! I showed the hair dresser your article.. She was impressed yet concerned as to why you haven't been getting your hair done!! PS. And the article was great! : )
:) Thank you for sharing. We have some things in common, you and I. But those aren't for a comment section....just be assured that you are not alone in your struggles or the places you've "been" with relationships, and I'm not just speaking of romantic. With parents, as well. One step forward...each day can be started with a smile if you will do it...etc etc etc. Great writing, too, lady. I loved it.
My mom started to confide in me at about 18 and it was so hard to swallow that stuff - to be her confidante when I would have rather not known.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I 'got' that part of your beautifully written story. And I wanted to say I'm sorry for what you went through. I adore my mom. She's a great mom. I just wish I wasn't that person in her life.
First off, just wanted to say I'm so humbled you guys took the time to read my story. Like I said before, it was hard to write and then go back and edit because each time I did I lived the story all over again. So just thank you. For some reason I can't come up with the words to describe how much it means. Just know it's a lot.
I wanted to respond to each comment earlier, but instead decided to wait until I had some time to think, digest, sit and write:
iggy, when I read your comment this morning before heading outside, I was touched. It was exactly what I needed to see first thing. I wish no one had to go through hard times, but I'm sure they're tests to strengthen us for the course. Who knows what lies ahead, could be easier, could be harder. Either way it'll make me appreciate the nicer days more when I remember the stormy weather I had to get through. Besides, every one knows the best writers and artists are those who have experienced pain.
You're right on with what I had been trying to avoid. I obviously learned it doesn't work when you try to give hugs while wearing a suit of armor.
And every now and then the random quote on the side gets it just right. Like they know what I need to get through the day.
gaspegirl, I think the universe still senses my hesitation to leap. Once I get over the fear, I'll do my best to jump with both feet in the next time around.
anonymous, how funny that it was there. Tell Chama I'll pass by...someday. Probably when we have at least three nice days in a row.
tooj, I'll add this to the List of Things I Have in Common with Tooj then. (And no, it doesn't exist). If one plus has come out of writing that article and just writing period (blog included) is knowing that others can relate to what you've experienced. Makes the journey a little less lonely.
sugarlens, you're so sweet. I'm happy to hear you didn't think it sucked. And thanks for the beautiful wishes :)
merc, thank you so much for reading it. For some reason, and I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when I read that you were proud of me it felt motherly for some reason. And I just got this warm feeling inside. Sounds a bit cheesy now that I read this, but it's true. Since I didn't grow up with much affection or "I'm proud of you" from my mom, I tend to grab it from wherever I can find it.
I'm still in the process of believing it myself, but thank you for knowing for me while I get there.
heidi, it's hard when they turn to lean on you and totally change the idea that THEY'RE supposed to be the strong ones, the ones you look up to when you don't know what to do. My image of my parents knowing all the answers was shattered then. I didn't know who I was supposed to ask for help and support when the people I turned to were just as lost and confused. So I internalized a lot of those feelings.
I didn't ask to be leaned on, but at the same time how could I turn my back on my mother? The thought of being a bad daughter was what made me bear the weight all those years. I wanted to be close to her, but those moments just made me resent being put in the middle. It still continues to this day, but I've been able to voice how I feel and stand up for myself.
heidi, thanks for the never-ending support. Now go frame that thing.
You are such a talented writer! Thank you for sharing your pain and experiences with us. And yes, the hard times do make us appreciate the easy times much more. We all experience things for a reason, and now you know that your parent's example of marriage isn't commonplace. Keep your head up, and don't give up on finding true love. It's out there, somewhere, waiting for you.
That is beautifully written, Dorkys. I wish you didn't have to suffer this ordeal.
ReplyDeleteIts kind of odd that your quote of the day says "We must make the best of those ills which cannot be avoided." - Clarence Day
You've been trying to avoid what cannot be avoided - I don't mean the possible hurt and grief of a marriage - I mean the need to vulnerable in order to share at the soul level with someone.
That was a wonderfully well-written piece. I just wanted to let you know that it can work out... but you have to want it!
ReplyDeleteMake it a great day girl!
I read it at the hair salon like 2 weeks ago! I showed the hair dresser your article.. She was impressed yet concerned as to why you haven't been getting your hair done!!
ReplyDeletePS. And the article was great!
: )
:) Thank you for sharing. We have some things in common, you and I. But those aren't for a comment section....just be assured that you are not alone in your struggles or the places you've "been" with relationships, and I'm not just speaking of romantic. With parents, as well. One step forward...each day can be started with a smile if you will do it...etc etc etc. Great writing, too, lady. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written! I got goose bumps while reading it.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the very best in love and hope you will have a home, marriage, and kids one day!
I am so proud of you. What a beautifully written piece. I know you will have all you wish for.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Dorkys.
ReplyDeleteMy mom started to confide in me at about 18 and it was so hard to swallow that stuff - to be her confidante when I would have rather not known.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I 'got' that part of your beautifully written story. And I wanted to say I'm sorry for what you went through. I adore my mom. She's a great mom. I just wish I wasn't that person in her life.
Thank you for this today.
You know I loved it, I ran out to buy it, its at home :) Very proud :)
ReplyDeleteFirst off, just wanted to say I'm so humbled you guys took the time to read my story. Like I said before, it was hard to write and then go back and edit because each time I did I lived the story all over again. So just thank you. For some reason I can't come up with the words to describe how much it means. Just know it's a lot.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to respond to each comment earlier, but instead decided to wait until I had some time to think, digest, sit and write:
iggy, when I read your comment this morning before heading outside, I was touched. It was exactly what I needed to see first thing. I wish no one had to go through hard times, but I'm sure they're tests to strengthen us for the course. Who knows what lies ahead, could be easier, could be harder. Either way it'll make me appreciate the nicer days more when I remember the stormy weather I had to get through. Besides, every one knows the best writers and artists are those who have experienced pain.
You're right on with what I had been trying to avoid. I obviously learned it doesn't work when you try to give hugs while wearing a suit of armor.
And every now and then the random quote on the side gets it just right. Like they know what I need to get through the day.
gaspegirl, I think the universe still senses my hesitation to leap. Once I get over the fear, I'll do my best to jump with both feet in the next time around.
anonymous, how funny that it was there. Tell Chama I'll pass by...someday. Probably when we have at least three nice days in a row.
tooj, I'll add this to the List of Things I Have in Common with Tooj then. (And no, it doesn't exist). If one plus has come out of writing that article and just writing period (blog included) is knowing that others can relate to what you've experienced. Makes the journey a little less lonely.
sugarlens, you're so sweet. I'm happy to hear you didn't think it sucked. And thanks for the beautiful wishes :)
merc, thank you so much for reading it. For some reason, and I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when I read that you were proud of me it felt motherly for some reason. And I just got this warm feeling inside. Sounds a bit cheesy now that I read this, but it's true. Since I didn't grow up with much affection or "I'm proud of you" from my mom, I tend to grab it from wherever I can find it.
I'm still in the process of believing it myself, but thank you for knowing for me while I get there.
heidi, it's hard when they turn to lean on you and totally change the idea that THEY'RE supposed to be the strong ones, the ones you look up to when you don't know what to do. My image of my parents knowing all the answers was shattered then. I didn't know who I was supposed to ask for help and support when the people I turned to were just as lost and confused. So I internalized a lot of those feelings.
I didn't ask to be leaned on, but at the same time how could I turn my back on my mother? The thought of being a bad daughter was what made me bear the weight all those years. I wanted to be close to her, but those moments just made me resent being put in the middle. It still continues to this day, but I've been able to voice how I feel and stand up for myself.
heidi, thanks for the never-ending support. Now go frame that thing.
You are such a talented writer! Thank you for sharing your pain and experiences with us. And yes, the hard times do make us appreciate the easy times much more. We all experience things for a reason, and now you know that your parent's example of marriage isn't commonplace. Keep your head up, and don't give up on finding true love. It's out there, somewhere, waiting for you.
ReplyDelete