Being Single in NYC

Every now and then I'll get a comment on here about how "fab" it must be to be a single writer living it up in New York City. "It's so Sex and the City." Yeah, no. Let me break it down for you, fools. First off, I never say "fab," "fabu," or any other derivative of the word "fabulous" (which I also don't use). And second, well, let's just say this calls for a list. So I present to you...

Ten Ways My Life is NOT Like Sex and the City

10. I don't hop around from one chic party to the next. More often than not, you'll find me vegging out at home with my dog.

9. I don't own a single piece of couture or designer shoes. In fact, I only learned that all Louboutins have red soles about a month ago.

8. When I write out my stories, I don't include "I couldn't help but wonder..." in every intro.

7. My curls are slightly darker than Carrie's.

6. I tasted a Cosmo once and frankly? Ew. I think I'll stick with martinis.

5. I've never headed to the Hamptons for a summer weekend getaway.

4. Can someone please name a Latina on that show?

3. It's always Metrocards over yellow cabs for me, thanks.

2. You won't find me striking up a convo in graphic detail about my latest encounter as if I were talking about the weather.

1. I've yet to actually have sex in the city.


So there you have it. I hope I've burst any little bubbles you've dreamt up about my NYC life. If not, here's what others had to say about being single in this "fantabulous" city:

"I think the fact that we do live in the city that never sleeps, filled with an endless amount of social activities, helps put us in situations where we're more likely to encounter many different people. HOWEVER, I think whether or not a match ever happens is highly contingent on us. Personally speaking, I'm this timid little thing who very rarely, if ever, would approach someone of the opposite sex (sober) and start 'spitting game.' First of all, I have no game. Second of all, I'd be too busy wondering if this dude is into me to even formulate a coherent sentence. Either that or I'll play the role of this sassy little thing who's soooo not into you.

Whether you live in the greatest city on earth or in an itty-bitty town, I think how outgoing and confident you are plays the biggest role in whether or not you'll meet someone. If you're outgoing and not afraid to meet new people you're going to meet prospects WHEREVER you go. If you're shy it doesn't matter that you're surrounded by so many people because, if you're anything like me, you're more than likely not going to do anything about it - except hope they approach you." ~Dama

*****

"I think being single in NYC is a lot harder than in other places. Sure there are a lot more people here so one would assume that the chances of meeting someone are greater, but the truth is that people have so many choices that they are scared to settle down. It's like everyone is waiting for the next best thing to come around the corner.

The culture in NYC is very focused on work, so that usually means that everyone works longer hours and that's even encouraged. People here don't have as much time to date as people in other cities. Because seriously, most of us are exhausted by the time we get home at 7 or 7:30 PM. Who has the energy to get all dressed up and go on a date after being out of your house for 11 or 12 hours? I'm not saying it's easy in other places, I just think that the fact there is so much focus on career makes that a priority.

There's also so much to do in this city, people fill the void of not having a boy/girlfriend by going out to a myriad of places: parks, bars, clubs, restaurants. You don't need a significant other in this city to have company; you can walk outside and find a million things to do that fill the void momentarily. I know in other places people who are single are more anxious of finding someone because they feel the need to share their alone moments with someone else." ~Heidi

*****

"Yeah, I found dating to be hard way back when. I usually go out with my guys so if someone were to hit on me he'd stay back because of confusion as to who I'm with in the group. Then there's the creepy guy who wants to buy you a drink when there's nada there for him to pursue since you're not interested in any way. I really am a stickler for not dating where you work, but I'm so glad I ignored it. David and I are past the year-and-a-half mark and I'm so happy with him even if we are in different countries.

I really don't want to go back to the dating pool. Ayer, a guy passed by me and (NO joke) asked, 'Sweetheart, can I break your back?' Of course, I didn't answer and so he called out, 'So I can't get none?!' With idiots like that allowed to walk the streets, it makes it harder to find a quality guy. And to meet a guy in the bar or a club also has that stigma. No matter where the location or situation, you just have to take a chance when it comes to dating. And I don't think it matters if the girl makes the first move. Why wouldn't a guy find that flattering?" ~TJ

Images: msdress-up.com, thefrisky.com