A Quickie Guide to Sex Guides Part 2

Here are the final five book reviews for your enjoyment...


I'm not exactly rolling in money right now so I was interested to see what Great Sex for Hard Times had to say. I was expecting a book of fun and cheap ideas and instead received a list of reasons why sex is such an awesome stress reliever (nah, really?). There are cash-saver and quickie tips sprinkled throughout the chapters (the sexy challenges were a bit cheesy though), but I found myself skipping through all the other stuff just to locate those blurbs. And P.S. What is that cover girl wearing??

A. says: Her thighs are nice though! I like how it says "fully illustrated." How do you define "fully?" There's like 15 illustrations and they're all line drawings. The word "fully" isn't what it used to be.


Well I'm automatically skeptical when a product makes such a hefty claim like The Best Sex of Your Life does. But pushing that aside, the book shares 101 sex secrets that aren't quite so secretive: men are visual creatures who enjoy foreplay and compliments as much as we do; sex toys can strengthen your orgasms; girl on top is great for stimulating your hot spots. On and on. Well guess what? There's very little here you can't get from a couple months worth of Cosmo or Glamour. At least those are more visually appealing.

A. says: First thing I look for: pictures! ...And there aren't any. Basically it's an unorganized list of random sex "secrets." How am I supposed to find what I'm looking for? What if I'm curious about something? And these aren't secrets; these are things that you come up with on your own if you're not an uptight priss.


What's the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Moregasm? The vagina collage I was surprised with on page 16 when I first opened the book. You also get glimpses of different butts and boobs so you can appreciate how we're all different yet beautiful. The colorful guide, which is geared mostly towards women, is a fun reference to browse through and search for answers as needed or to learn something new. There's even a great Q&A section in the back that I enjoyed reading through. Some topics were relevant and others just served to open my eyes. Either way, it's nice to feel that other women have the same issues and concerns you do. And because it was written by the founders of Babeland, it has plenty of suggestions when it comes to navigating the world of sex toys.

A. says: Every one of these women looks manlier than me... Oh wait, this one doesn't look like a lesbian. It's well put together. I don't know if it should say "mind-blowing sex" on the cover, but that's just marketing shit. As a book to just be comfortable with all types of sex, it seems like it would be good. There's not too much text, it says the right things and and they treat everything real so that's nice.


The Porn Star Guide to Great Sex (out June 22) is Mr. Marcus' first book and you can tell because the writing is so simplistic. The man even refers to a commonly used writing technique among high schoolers: referring to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary to tell readers what a word means. I'm sure he wanted to back up his info with credible sources, but I think it's perfectly fine if a porn star just defined "clitoris" in his own words. At least the "professional lover" keeps it straight up (with his advice, I mean). Even though at times it felt like the book should've been titled Seducing Mr. Marcus instead, I didn't completely mind his conversational tone and anecdotes. Why? Because at least the book took a different route than many of the others on this list. That said, I'm never wearing crotchless panties. Sorry.

A. says: It's banal. He switches from first person to second person, which makes me think he didn't write all of it. The funny thing is he says do this, this and this, but he doesn't say listen to her reaction to see if it's working. And I must be a better porn connoisseur than he is because he says anal sex is relatively new within the porn world. Ha! He must not have watched any German porn from the 70's.


If size matters to you, then this mammoth of a book has the potential to thrill you. The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking 351-page guide pretty much has it all: knowing and pleasing yourself and others, oral play, toys, fantasies and yes, A., even anal loving. (Don't get excited though.) I say if you want a complete sex manual, you'll be hard-pressed to find a more inclusive one than this one. My only peeve is that there isn't anything for homosexual loving. They could use some advice too! And I really like the photos even though they're totally airbrushed. A. and I made a game out of flipping open to a random page and seeing what racy picture we'd be treated to. Good stuff.

A. says: To their credit, they've got some hot females, but all of the males look like aged porn stars. There's one with such big tit-pecs, I thought it was a girl-on-girl section. I was disappointed. There's just a lot to read here. I'm not inclined to pick up one of these books in the first place, but when I see all this text, I'm really not interested in it.

*****

Phew! I can't believe we just sifted through all that. Seriously, if I ever flip through another sex book again it'll be too soon. Some were entertaining, yes, but the majority were just a collection of been there, tried that.

A: If you're really in the market for a sex guide, avoid the gimmicks and look for one that matches your personal attitude about sex. Keep in mind that a lot of advice in these books are anecdotal. I would have liked to see a more scientific approach to what works and in what situation. Then again, I'm a geek who gets excited about folding proteins and embryology.

Images: ebookstore.sony.com, sheknows.com, webster.it, amazon.com and infibeam.com