You know how sometimes you feel like you need to have someone in your life? And if they're not then you spend time wondering if they're ok, if they know they're missed and that someone's thinking about them.
Yeah. That's why I broke down and texted him on Sunday. It was nice knowing he was doing ok and that both of us happened to be keeping a list of things to tell the other when we spoke again.
Him: Your sister looks a lot like Michelle Obama.
Me: In case you didn't know, your senator got picked as Obama's running mate.
Him: [cue sarcasm] Really? I hadn't heard.
I also asked him not to worry as I explained what happened that Monday morning two weeks ago. Unfortunately, worry about me is what he does, but I'm working on not giving the people I care about something to worry about. I haven't weighed myself since all that happened and don't plan on doing so until I see a substantial change (and preferably before next week's doctor's appointment when I'll be forced to step on a scale).
Either way, it was nice talking to him again, but it also means I'm going to need a new plan of attack. One of my reasons behind reaching out to him again is that if you are close to someone you really care about who also cares about you, then why waste time pushing this person away and suffering over the thought that you might lose a friend?
I keep hearing that it's different with a significant other. That time and distance are the two main remedies for a broken heart, but I just can't stand the thought that once you break up with someone (amicably, NOT because he tried to kill you) everything you shared vanishes into thin air. Obviously there was something there before so once you break up, does it all go away? I don't want to lose a best friend each time a relationship doesn't work out; it seems too tragic to me.
So for now I'll treat him as my close friend. If we talk it's ok and if we're each too busy to catch up for a couple days that's ok too. I'll still be focusing a little more on myself and my health. As far as how I'll feel when other significant others come into each of our lives? Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Right on!!! I couldn't have said it better myself...it was nice knowing that even though were no longer together he still cared enough to wait for me an hour at the precinct and when i called him at 3 o clock in the morning when i was mad paranoid in the streets ... he at least texted back to ask if i was ok. After 7 years of friendship and then 5 years in a relationship (OMG thats 12 years knowing each other) i can't imagine him not being in my life...we tried not speaking but were to use to each other an comfortable with each other that we always end up speaking....and i was elated to here he still thinks of me as his best friend. But yeah what i meant to say was ... i feel how u fee lol...
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ReplyDeleteAww! See, those feelings are still there somewhere. I mean you spend all those years getting to know everything about them, what they like, what they do, who they are...how can you easily forget all that? And then how can you not care if something were to happen to them?
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