Making Up With T

So I met up with T again yesterday and one of the first things she asked when we started the session was, "So, are you mad at me?"

"Yup. I wanted to tell you off too."
"So let me have it," she said.

But I didn't really. I wasn't mean exactly, but I was straightforward and serious. I told her how she threw too much at me in one blow and left me feeling hopeless. She said it wasn't her intention to leave me feeling like that, but that she was very concerned about me and wanted to shake me up. And the fact that I almost blacked out in the street wasn't the only thing that alarmed her. She was also scared by the fact that I wasn't as alarmed by what happened as I should have been.

"Well I can't change what happened," I said. "Yes, I know I need to eat more and yes I was scared that day, but it happened and that's that. All I can do is make sure it doesn't happen again."

She then let me in on why she felt she needed to say those things last Friday: because I remind her of herself when she was younger. She also became anorexic and bulimic as a way of fighting off a controlling mother very much like my own and she didn't want me following that same path.

"What would you have done if I didn't come back?" I asked.
"I would have called you and told you the same thing my therapist said to me: that people often feel like giving up when they're at the edge of a major breakthrough."
"Yeah well I came back."
"Well you're very brave," she said.
"No, it's because you would've charged me for the session anyway," I quipped.

Then she mentioned that my feisty personality and will power would make me unstoppable if only I stopped using it against myself. We covered a lot as always and at the end of the session she asked, "So are we good?" Yeah, we are.

Final Note: On my way out of T's place last week, her next patient (whose face I didn't see) felt that she needed to meet for some reason. During their session, this lady - a fashion designer with psychic abilities apparently - told T she just got this feeling that I had something to teach her. T thought this might be very good for me and said she got goosebumps when The Psychic mentioned it. So yesterday she asked for my permission to pass along my number and I said, "Sure why not." Can't hurt to meet new people, right?